We're Broke
by AvalancheOfAwesomeness
Summary: In which Team Natsu is broke, Erza's love for the theatre grows, Natsu finds out how many curse words Lucy can say under a minute, and Gray's aspiring to be a fashion designer. Oh, and Happy thinks he's fly as heck.
1. Chapter 1

"Yup, that's the last of it," Happy said as he dumped out the contents of a small brown sack onto their bed. The sack had once been filled with jewels from all the missions they've completed, but now, it stored seven jewels and a piece of hard candy that had hair all over it.

"So…," Natsu trailed off, his eyebrows furrowed as he contemplated what to do next. "We're broke."

"Definitely broke."

"We have nothing?"

"Nothing except these." Happy pointed at the very few jewels and picked up the hairy candy. "We could always trade this for… fish, maybe?"

"Lucy's gonna kill me…," Natsu groaned.

"Why?" Before Natsu could respond, they heard a loud knock on their front door.

"That's why." Natsu said, pointing at the door with his thumb. Lucy bursted through the door, arms folded on her chest.

"Pay up." Was the first thing that came out of her mouth. Natsu scratched his head sheepishly and pointed at the bed covered in dust and what was a poor excuse of a jewel.

"I don't have any money,"

"Why do you need to pay?" Happy asked, flying between Natsu and Lucy.

"It's because this stupid squinty-eyed flamethrower used up all my money for food!" Lucy glared at Natsu. Natsu felt shivers run up his spine, but was cut off when Gray suddenly popped out of nowhere wearing only pants.

"I'm so proud of you, Lucy!" Gray squealed like a little school girl. "I never knew you had the guts to insult Natsu like that! Come here~!"

With that, Gray pulled Lucy into a hug, squeezing the life out of her. "I've taught you so much!"

"Gray, stop it, you are going to kill her." A stern voice that clearly belonged to the one and only red headed female said. Gray obediently let go and patted Lucy's head.

"He li~kes her!" Happy rolled his tongue, flying away before both Gray and Lucy could catch him.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" Gray asked.

"I'm broke." Natsu, Lucy and Erza said in unison. Gray gasped loudly and squealed again in delight.

"I'm broke too!" He started clapping like a seal. "We can be the Broken Four-oh man, we'll get famous!"

"Hey, I'm still here!" Happy said in protest.

Ignoring Gray and Happy, Erza turned to Natsu and Lucy. "Should we take on some jobs?"

"There aren't anymore jobs. Just, you know, normal ones." Lucy explained, having checked the mission board several times already.

"That could work too." Erza nodded in approval. Gray and Happy squeezed into the circle of three.

"We're gonna work?" Gray looked so happy. "I've always wanted to do something like this!"

"You think he's on something?" Lucy quietly asked Natsu as they watched Gray skip around happily.

"He probably took some crack this morning." Natsu shrugged.

 **~X~**

"Mira-chan, do you have all the papers?" Lucy asked as she drank her strawberry smoothie.

"It's right here," Mira said happily, taking out a stack of papers labeled with the word _JOB._

"Thank you, Mira," Erza said as she took the stack of papers and dumped it in her suitcase. "This should take us a while to finish."

"Yeah, and the pay's not bad either." Lucy agreed.

"So, what should we start on first?" Natsu asked, searching through the papers in the suitcase. "There's so ma-ooh! I like this one, we should do this one!"

"Calm down, Natsu," Lucy said sternly. Like an obedient puppy, Natsu calmed down and showed her the paper with a wide grin on his face.

"Firefighter?" Lucy asked as she read through the sheet again. "You wanna do this one?"

"Yes!" Lucy sighed and gave the paper to Erza. Natsu froze.

"Do you guys wanna take that one?"

"I see no reason why we shouldn't." Erza shrugged and turned to Natsu. "Come now, Natsu. We've got a job to do."

"No, Lucy, don't do this, please, I beg of you!" Natsu pleaded as he was dragged away by Erza. "You can't make me do it! You can't, Erza! You can't leave me with this demon!"

With that, Erza kicked Natsu on the head, forcing him to go to lala-land. They disappeared out the door.

"Gray!" Lucy called the somehow bubbly ice-make Mage who was _still_ skipping around happily, scaring the crap out of his guild mates. "What should we do?"

"I wanna be a fashion designer!" Gray said in a sing-song manner. Lucy stared at him in horror.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done to Gray?"

"Oh, come on now, Lucy," Mira giggled. "It's not _that_ bad."

"Yeah, Lucy. Let's go be fashion designers!" Gray screamed, dragging Lucy out the door. "Bye everyone!"

"You know, for a guy who rarely wears clothes, he could probably pull off being a fashion designer." Wakaba said, watching the two run (well, Gray run and Lucy be dragged).

"Ah, this'll be fun."

 **A/N: Hello there~! Just wanted to try something new for a change, and, well, this is what happened. Updates are soon to come (assuming I'm not too lazy to write a new chapter) and please do leave a review! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.**

"Gray, what the hell are you doing?" Lucy asked as she watched the boy skip around while they waited for their boss.

"I'm skipping, Lucy," Gray answered all diva-like. "What, you don't know how to skip?"

"Shut u-"

"Lucy Heartfilia? Gray Fullbuster?" Lucy was cut off by a man in tight white shorts, a neon pink shirt and a yellow scarf wrapped around his neck. "I'm your new manager, Keith."

Keith glanced at the two and grinned. "Ah, it's always nice to have such young recruits! Come now, children~!"

"I like how he dresses," Gray commented, happily following behind Keith.

"Idiot, your clothes are gone." Lucy said bluntly.

"Wait, what?"

 **~X~**

Natsu's head shot up as he woke up to a loud ringing. He turned his head left and right, trying to find the source of the sound.

"Finally awake, I see," Erza walked over to the dragon slayer who was currently tied to a tree.

"What the hell, Erza?" Natsu asked, struggling with the rope. "Why am I up here?"

"Because you called me an evil witch."

"Actually, it was demon-which is completely different." This earned Natsu a slap.

"Ow that hurt, you bitch! Come here and let's fight right here, right now!" Natsu put the rope on fire and fell down with a thud.

"Shut up, pinky." A stern voice that didn't belong to Erza said. Natsu looked up to find a sneering buff man.

"Who the hell are you?" Natsu asked nonchalantly. He got up but was pushed down by Erza's boot, face contacting with the grass once again.

"Natsu, show some respect," Erza said-well, commanded. "This person right here is the head of the fire department."

"And I give a damn because…?"

"Because if you don't, you get no job." The man hauled Natsu up with a swift movement. He started walking away, Erza following closely behind.

"Wait for me!"

 **~X~**

"Woah…," Gray and Lucy stared in amazement at the huge room filled with all types of clothing. Hangers hung from the ceiling and bundles of clothes were everywhere. The walls didn't seem like walls at all, but curtains hanging loosely to cover _something_.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Keith hopped on top of a wooden chair to reach for a small yellow lever. "This is even better,"

The curtains started rolling upwards as Keith pulled the lever, revealing more clothing neatly piled into cabinets and drawers.

"Question," Lucy said, scanning the whole room. "If you have all these clothes, why the heck are you wearing tha-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Gray slapped a hand over her mouth. "Wha- Lucy! He looks absolutely fabulous!"

"Oh, it's alright, Gray," Keith chuckled. "Some people just don't appreciate my wonderful taste in fashion."

"Tch." Lucy rolled her eyes and shoved Gray away.

Before long, the trio started working. Lucy groaned every time Gray would start singing in what he calls "the perfect pitch and tone that should've been used for this song instead (which was just a series of shouts and what seemed to be whale-talk)."

Keith had left them alone to grab more clothing (where he gets them from, they'll never know) and Lucy was having a hard time restraining her growing desire to strangle Gray.

"For Mavis's sake, shut up already!" Lucy screamed from across the room. Gray stopped singing, turned and posed.

"That's really mean, Lucy!" He replied. He flipping his hair and returned to what he was doing: Checking himself out in the mirror while singing an off-key version of "I Have Nothing."

"Lucy, look, look!" Gray called. Lucy turned to find the boy right behind her, actually wearing clothes. Except, he was wearing a golden crown, a white tank top and a frilly pink tutu with nothing below that.

"Holy mother of Mavis, Gray what the hell?!" Lucy shrieked covering her eyes. "What are you _doing_?"

"I'm thinking of putting this on my latest clothes line." Gray answered nonchalantly. "What, you don't like it?"

"Yes, I don't freaking like it!" Lucy grabbed the nearest thing she could (which was, unfortunately for Gray, a wooden chair) and threw it at him.

"Calm down!" This time, it was Gray's turn to shriek. He barely dodged the piece of furniture before Lucy threw many others (including a table, another chair, and pink underwear that smacked Gray right in the face).

"You disgust me…," Lucy shook her head at the unconscious Gray and walked out the gigantic room all the while cursing the heavens for having to deal with the Ice-Make mage.

 **~X~**

"I didn't know you guys did pole-dancing here." Natsu said as he stared at the pole leading up to the second floor of the fire department.

"Only on Fridays, son," answered another man who had joined them just a while ago. The head of the department (who was apparently named Jung) stood at the background, a sneer still evident on his face. "We usually use it when there's an emergency."

"Any other questions?"

"Who names their son 'Jung?'" Natsu blurted out, raising an eyebrow at Jung who glared at him.

"Oh, that was a mistake. He was supposed to be named 'Jun' but while his mother was writing it down, Jung here screeched and startled his mother and accidentally wrote what seemed to be a G." The man explained. Jung huffed at the memory while Natsu struggled to contain his laughter.

"So, shall we start working?" Erza suggested. The man and Jung nodded and was about to head into a room when the alarm started blaring.

"You kids wanna come?" The man asked as he gathered his supplies in a hurry. Jung was about to protest but was cut off when the alarm blared even louder.

"Why not?" Erza and Natsu hopped in the fire truck, along with Jung and the man.

They arrived at a burning house moments later. Smoke was everywhere and it was hard to breath. People gathered around the burning house, some throwing a pail of water.

"Help us with the…," Before Jung could say his command, Erza and Natsu were already headed towards the house. Natsu's eyes were gleaming at the thought of getting to eat.

"Don't go there…," Again, Jung wasn't able to finish his sentence, startled by the sight of Natsu inhaling all the flames and burped once he was done. He rubbed his belly and hummed in satisfaction as he walked back to the fire truck.

"What the hell was that?" Jung and the other man looked at each other. The people who were gathered around the house were all looking at Natsu in astonishment. They've never seen something like this before.

Before Jung and the man could fire (ha ha, get it?) any questions at Natsu and Erza, Erza just smiled and bluntly said, "He eats fire."

Later that day, two unconscious men were brought to the hospital after fainting from something a pink haired idiot and a red headed demon called "nothing out of the ordinary."

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.**

 **~Days later~**

"Lucy, I've missed you so much- ha ha, just kidding, now get me away from this demon!" Was the first thing that came out Natsu's mouth as he ran towards Lucy and Gray. Erza followed closely behind Natsu, suitcase packed with papers in tow.

"You know you'll get killed for calling her a demon _twice_ now, right?" Gray raised an eyebrow and looked over at Lucy who ignored him. Up till now, she still couldn't look him in the eye after the tutu incident.

"Oh, trust me. I've called her that so many more times than just twice."

"He was punished for it, too." Erza said, glaring at Natsu.

"Did you tie him up to a tree again?" Lucy asked.

Erza nodded as she kneeled by her suitcase. "I also strangled him a few times, made him sleep outside and pole-dance."

"Pole-dance?"

"Don't ask," Natsu groaned at the memory. "Seriously, though. You don't wanna know."

"Should we switch partners now?" Lucy asked, kneeling down beside Erza. With a low voice, she begged, "Please, I can't look at Gray in the eyes anymore…,"

Erza threw a questioning gaze her way, but shrugged. It was there problem, anyway. Erza had a feeling that Gray had done something along the lines of making inhuman sounds (equal to what Gray would call "singing") and being the exhibitionist that he was.

The moment Erza opened the suitcase, a blue, fluffy exceed tumbled out, gasping for air.

"Why the heck did you open this just now?!" Happy screamed. Erza, Lucy, Gray and Natsu all stared dumbfounded at the cat. "I've been stuck there for _days_ now!"

"You were in here the whole time?" Natsu asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes, I was here the whole time and it was painful!"

As Happy continued ranting on and on and on about how they should've at least opened the suitcase once, Erza looked through the papers and handed Lucy one.

"Shall we switch Gray and Natsu?" Erza suggested. Lucy nodded in approval.

"Just don't blame me if he gets nightmares about pink underwear."

 **~X~**

"Probe,"

"Probe!"

"Mirror."

"Mirror!"

"Air or Water Syringe."

"Air or water-wait, which one?"

"Whatever's there!" Erza glared at Gray as he frantically looked for the syringe. "Hurry, fool! The patient is dying!"

"Uh, actually I'm still alive," The patient said, silently questioning whether or not these two were legitimate dentists.

"Shut up and play dead then!" Erza ordered, making the patient cower in fear. "Now, Gray, where is my syringe?"

"Which one is it?" Gray was on the ground now, still searching for the syringe that was conveniently placed right on the table he just messed up.

"Just give me the damn syringe!"

"Is this it?" Gray clearly didn't know what a syringe was because, with gleaming eyes, too, he brought up a hammer.

"Close enough," Erza nodded, determined to get this over with. "Now, Mr. Patient, sir. Please stay quiet while I try to get all these growing white rocks out of your mouth."

"Oka-wait what?!"

Other visitors shot questioning looks at the closed door as they listened to the muffled screams of a man and what sounded like someone smashing multiple windows one by one.

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews are always appreciated! Next chapter will hopefully come soon so please wait for it! ^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

 _ **Warning: This chapter contains a vast number of curse words and I urge you to not read it if you're uncomfortable with bad language.**_

 _ **P.S: Natsu, I absolutely love you. Sorry about this! ^^**_

"Hello and welcome to 'GUESS THAT CURSE WORD!'" Happy screamed through the mic as the audience cheered and applauded. "I'm Happy the Exceed and I'll be your host for today!"

"Today's special guests are Natsu Dragneel a.k.a The Walking Flamethrower Idiot and Lucy Heartfilia a.k.a Fat Ass!"

Before Lucy or Natsu could protest, the crowd cheered even louder.

"Thank you, Lucy and Natsu, for _willingly_ coming on our show tonight."

"We were brought here against our will, you stupid cat!" The two forced contestants tried to reach for Happy and failed, seeing how their feet were tied with magic repelling rope (where Happy got it from, they'll never know).

"Now, now, you two," Happy grinned from ear to ear, seeming more obnoxious with that fish-mic in his hand. "No need to get violent."

"Son of a-"

"Hold it, Natsu! The game hasn't started yet." Happy flipped through his cue cards. "But I guess you could swear all you want."

"-bitch."

"Sorry, my mom was an exceed not a dog." Happy happily hummed as a vein popped in Natsu's forehead. _Why this damn cat…_

"Anyway, let's go on ahead to our game, shall we?" Happy flew over towards Lucy and Natsu, a remote control in hand. "Please fix your eyes on the screen as I read you the rules to our wonderful game~!"

"I will be reading situations in which a curse word or curse _words_ are said, screamed or shrieked like a little school girl. I will be giving three hints. The first one to press the buzzer will be the first one to answer."

"Oh, this'll be easy as hell!" Natsu said confidently. Lucy rolled her eyes and swatted at the pink haired loser.

"You'd be surprised at how good I am at this," Natsu raised his eyebrow at Lucy's comment. No way Lucy could guess as fast as he can!

"We'll be starting now!" Happy said. He pointed at the screen and read in an irritating squeaky voice: "Ow! I just stubbed my blank toe on the blank table! It's hurts so blank much!"

"Fucking, damn and fucking." Lucy quickly said after she slammed her fist on the buzzer. Natsu was in shock. His hand was right above the buzzer just as Lucy had answered.

"…Correct…?" Happy murmured under his breath as he flipped through his cue cards. "Ah, ah, yes, it's correct! Congratulations, Lucy. You just got a hundred points!"

"Wait, wait, wait! How am I supposed to know whether it's damn or fucking or shit?!" Natsu protested. Happy ignored him as the number 100 flashed on Lucy's screen. The crowd cheered, drowning out Natsu's stupid complaints.

"Next one is worth two-hundred!"

"Wait, wait, I'm not done yet, let me think!"

 **~X~**

"And that's the end of the game, my friends!" Happy happily shouted. The crowd cheered, as did Lucy as the winner sign flashed on her screen.

"I won and you lost! I won and you lost!" Lucy was dancing now. Natsu had to cover his eyes to prevent them from melting. It was a truly terrifying sight.

"Yes, that's right. Natsu lost by three-hundred and thirty-five points! Hah, who would've thought?" Natsu grumbled as Happy continued to announce his loss with amusement and happiness. "Now for the punishment!"

"Punishment? What punishment?" Natsu started freaking out at the word 'punishment.' "I didn't know there was a punishment!"

"You'll find out after the break!" Happy said. Natsu clawed at the ground, trying to stay while he was being dragged away by two buff men in black suits.

"NO NO YOU CAN'T DO THIS I COULD DIE I SWEAR I'LL SUE YOU ALL!"

"He doesn't even know the punishment yet…," Lucy laughed as she watched Natsu be dragged away. "Oh, the idiot."

"Gate of the Maiden, VIRGO!"

 **~X~**

"I'LL KILL YOU ALL! I SWEAR I WILL! YOU'LL JUST BE A POOL OF MELTED WHATEVER AFTER I'N DONE WITH YOU CRUEL, CRUEL PEOPLE-OH, NO! DON'T YOU DARE PUT ME IN THAT ELECTRIC CHAIR YOU MOTHERFUCKING SONS OF BITCHES! I WILL PUT YOUR FACE ON FIRE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW-"

"Ah, ah, ah," Happy clicked his tongue at Natsu who was thrashing around as he was strapped onto the electric chair by two men in black suits. "This is national television! We can't have something like that happening, now can we?"

"Nope, absolutely not." Lucy agreed. She laughed, watching Natsu shoot glares at her and Happy.

"TORTURE!" Natsu screamed. "THIS IS FUCKING TORTURE!"

"Shall we put it on max?"

"HAPPY YOU STUPID ASS CAT DON'T YOU DARE PUSH THAT BUTTON-"

"Let's,"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT-"

 **~X~**

"Virgo has the best punishments," Lucy chuckled as a half-fried Natsu crawled back onto the stage.

"Now, while the Fried Flaming Idiot is still recovering, let me explain the next part of our show!" Happy said cheerfully. Natsu groaned, only hearing the words "idiot" and "next part."

"Since Lucy won, she will be playing in a bonus game. She will be given a minute to say the most curse words she can, all the while she's insulting Natsu! And since Natsu lost, he will be takin on the roll of counting how many she got."

"Ooh, I like this game~!"

"That's not fair!" Natsu whined, trying his best to stand up. "That'll be so boring. Where's my challenge?"

"Well, seeing how you have trouble even just counting to ten, I'm pretty sure this is challenging enough for you." Happy countered. Natsu gaped at the insult. Of course he could count to ten…right?

"One, two, three," Natsu began counting. "Four, fifty-two, six, eight and… twenty?"

"Stupid," Lucy muttered.

"Let's start the game!" Happy said, ignoring Natsu as he continued to work on his counting skills. The audience clapped as Lucy walked over to the middle of the stage and cleared her throat. She looked calm as the screen counted from three and beeped, starting the one minute countdown.

"Natsu, you motherfucking piece of shit idiot. Do you have any fucking idea how much shit I've went through because of you? How much money I fucking lost because you're such a stupid shit that eats too fucking much? You can be such a bitch sometimes too. It's so fucking annoying.

"And your hair irritates me so fucking much. That pink color is stupid as hell. You stupid ass bastard. Squinty-eyed, walking flamethrower with nothing else to do but take my money and not even pay me the fuck back. Holy fucking shit, that's so fucking annoying!"

 _Twenty seconds…_

"You think you're fabulous? Well, bitch, I've even more fabulous than whatever the hell you are. Why can't you just fucking pay me back already? I need those jewels so fucking much. I've gotten so much shit from the landlady because I couldn't fucking pay my rent yet!"

 _Five…_

"Natsu, you-"

 _Four…_

"-fucking-"

 _Three…_

"-bitch ass-"

 _Two…_

 _"-_ idiot-"

 _One…_

"-fuck you."

"AND TIME IS UP!"

"GO LUCY!" Gray popped out of nowhere (again), holding up a poster saying, "INSULTING NATSU IS LUCY'S SPECIALTY!"

Erza appeared behind him, bloody gloves covering her hands. "That was really inspiring, Lucy."

"What's with the bloody gloves?"

"It was those stupid yellowish rocks in this stupid guy's mouth. They were really hard to take out." Gray said nonchalantly.

"You mean his teeth?"

"Those were teeth? They looked so yellow, they looked more like hard cheese."

"The last thing he said was, 'I'LL SUE YOU! I'LL SUE YOU BOTH!' It was kinda scary." Gray shuddered at the memory.

"Guys, someone sent a letter saying you're being sued." Happy flew over to them, holding up a white envelope.

"Ugh, not again."

" _Again?!_ "

 **A/N: Sorry for the wait~! Hopefully, this made up for the previous short chapter. Again, I freaking love Natsu to death. If this somehow offended you because he's your favorite character, I'm really, truly sorry.**

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

"Your Honor, our clients are not guilty." Natsu said. He began to pace in front of the judge, the jury and the audience watching his every move.

"Please elaborate, Mr. Dragneel."

"Elaborate?" Natsu repeated questioningly. "You want me to _elaborate?_ "

"Yes, Mr. Dragneel."

"Why the heck do I need to _elaborate_?! This is an outrage, your Honor. You can clearly tell that my clients are _not_ guilty!" Natsu exclaimed. He backed up towards his table, where Lucy, Erza and Gray sat and whispered, "Lucy, what does elaborate mean?"

"To explain,"

"Oh." Natsu stepped forward but stopped in his tracks and walked back to Lucy. "What do I have to elaborate?"

"Sit your ass down, stupid." Lucy pushed Natsu down on the chair and cleared her throat. She faced the judge with a determined glint in her eyes.

"Your honor, our clients are obviously the victims here. The patient clearly didn't say what he wanted them to do; thus resulting to," She pointed at the man who had sued them. He was too scared to open his mouth. " _That._ "

"Yeah and it's not our damn fault that his teeth look like cheese!" Gray shouted.

"You should've at least made it less messy." Natsu said.

"Whose side are you on?"

"Whichever one's not yours."

"You bastard-"

"Enough." Erza glared at them, shutting them up for good. She then looked at the judge with much spite. "Now, your honor or whatever the hell they call you, let's be rational here and just let us go. We're obviously not guilty."

"You have yet to give solid evidence for this, Mr. Dragneel and Ms. Heartfilia."

"You have yet to SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET US GO!" Natsu roared, fire coming out of his mouth. The judge cowered in fear, as did the jury.

"Mr. Dragneel-" Before he could finish his sentence, Natsu was already burning the place down. Lucy and Gray tried to calm him down with a series of words not appropriate for children (which obviously didn't help).

"Erza, help us!"

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHITS YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE SO I CAN BURN YOU ALL-"

"NATSU CALM DOWN!"

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS BITCH!"

"…did you just…"

"…call Lucy…"

"A BITCH?!"

"LUCY NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT-WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY WAS THE MOST GORGEOUS PIECE OF BEAUTY TO EVER GRACE THIS EARTH-PLEASE DO NOT CALL AQUARIUS-HOLY SHIT I'M GONNA DROOOOO-"

 **~X~**

"Ah, that was really refreshing," Lucy said happily. She stretched her arms as she walked ahead of Erza, Gray and Natsu who was being dragged by Gray because he was unconcious (well, more like dead but we don't know that).

"I never knew that Lucy could be scary…," Erza whispered to Gray. Gray nodded gingerly.

"You should've seen the day when I wore that ballerina outfit," Gray whispered back. "She was scarier that the devil himself."

"Was she scarier than me?"

"I can't answer that. I passed out after three seconds."

"She must've been extremely frightening then."

"I can hear you over there, you know that, right?" Lucy glared at the two, sending shivers up both of their spines.

"Yup," Erza said. "Definitely frightening."

 **A/N: First of all, I'm absolutely sorry about the immensely slow updates. I've been busy with school and all that and have been working on another story. From now on though, I will warn you, it'll be even slower. My finals are coming up and I really,** _ **really**_ **need to study (since I didn't learn shit at all). Please bare with me. I mean, it's not like I'm putting in on hiatus. I'll still update it-just really slowly. I'M SO SORRRRRYYYY! ,**

 **Thanks for reading~! Reviews are very much appreciated! ^^**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

"ICHIYA?!"

"MEN!"

Erza stared in horror as Ichiya _and_ Nichiya flaunted their way towards her and Lucy.

"What are you two doing here?" Lucy asked, trying to hold in her laughter. She knew how terrified Erza was by Ichiya-and having basically _two_ Ichiyas was probably her worst nightmare.

Her and Erza had taken on the jobs of being models, and coincidentally (or not), Nichiya and Ichiya where there to model too.

"We're here to accompany you ladies with modeling, of course!" Nichiya responded.

"Oh, Erza, my honey," Ichiya said, happily spreading his perfume with everyone. "I can just _smell_ the joy in my heart, seeing you here now."

"Haha, get it?" Both Nichiya and Ichiya burst out laughing, being the only ones who actually got the joke.

"Get me out of here!" Erza groaned, already getting the feeling that it would be one heck of a day.

 **~X~**

Erza banged her head on the wall once again as she reread the schedule. It specifically stated that she would have to model with _both_ Nichiya and Ichiya for one shoot.

Erza hit her head again.

"Erza, what are you doing?"

"Testing my skull resistance - what the hell does it look like I'm doing?"

"You look like your diving into a deep, dark hole of sadness and self-pity."

"Well what if I am?"

"Then that's what you are, I guess." Lucy peeked at Erza's schedule. "Oh, I feel bad for you, Erza."

Erza only groaned in response, hitting her head again.

"You'll break your skull if you do that, you know."

"Whatever."

 **~X~**

"Try to be a bit more… sexier than that, Erza!" The photographer said as he noticed the scowl on Erza's face. The usually composed and professional redhead seemed to be gone for the day.

"How about you try being the model and see how you like-"

"Oh, Erza, my dear," Ichiya cooed. "The scent of you is so.. So… so refreshing! I love it!"

Ichiya cupped Erza's face. "That sweet, sweet, heavenly scent that constantly drives my heart crazy…," -Ichiya leaned in as Erza stared in horror- "My heart is burning with passion from the scent of our lov-"

"Lean in anymore and I'll kill you!" Ichiya had no time to react for Erza had already equipped into her Heaven's Wheel Armor and pointed several swords at him. "I DARE YOU - I DOUBLE DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE-"

"Erza, calm down!" Nichiya screamed from the side. "Your scent is just so captivating that it makes us fall for-"

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, CAT!"

Lucy could be heard cracking up in the background.

"Erza, my honey-"

"I SAID SHUT IT, ICHIYA!"

"MEN!"

 **Thanks for reading~! Comments are always appreciated! ^^**


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